Well, in fact, this is about how to avoid one of those. According to some reports popping up on the web, bagel-slicing accident victims are appearing with alarming regularity in emergency departments all over the USA. Apparently, the crustiness of the outside of a bagel, combined with the desperate hunger of the intended consumer and his or her clumsiness or inattentiveness during slicing is leading to horrific incidents involving knives travelling straight through the bagel and into the receptacle. Also known as a palm. Sound awful? Sure does. To counteract this increase in stress for triage nurses, who have to assess the varying levels of hand-slicing every Saturday morning (and potentially dispose of the bloodied bagels), some very clever bagel-lover has come up with the
Bagel Guillotine.
Made in the USA (home of the bagel accident, if not originally the bagel), this guillotine does exactly what you envision it would. Place your bagel in its cradle, slide the blade down on top and hey presto: two perfect bagel halves. There is even an acrylic shield to protect those precious fingers. As you can imagine, care is needed, even with the guillotine: the blade has to be very sharp to pierce that crusty edge. But the design is genius for bagel-lovers, and you are sure to be safer guillotining your bagel than engaging in a horizontal knife-slice. Not forgetting the quantity of bagels that can be sliced by this device: apparently 24 bagels per minute can be decimated. I hope you have a fast smoked salmon preparer and cream-cheese spreader on hand...
Let them eat bagels, I say.
